Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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