In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize