Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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