question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize