are you still at the devil's house?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
