shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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