Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
