just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
how does that bad decision feel?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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