K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
