I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I could fuck to npr.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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