im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
