Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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