The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
