So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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