She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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