I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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