So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize