Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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