I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
