? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
