Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
