they need to just BURY HIM!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
