i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
