come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
