We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
