Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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