You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
