just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
