If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
