sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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