I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
