craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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