Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
