Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
