it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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