there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
