he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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