can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
