pop tarts are not kleenex
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
