We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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