Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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