Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
