I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize