well he's currently spooning the coffee table
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
