i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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