so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
