Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
