what day is it and did you see me today?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
