wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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