would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize