i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
