I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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