dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
