people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
