If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
