the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
