we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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