So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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