No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize