I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
