I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my poor anus
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
